The 10 Things No-One Tells You About
The truth, the whole truth, about a specific topic every week
Pregnancy and New Motherhood
When I was asked to write an article about my top 10 list of things they DON'T tell you about motherhood, I was super excited. You would think the excitement would have stemmed from the emotions that have come from how much I love and adore my son (which I do exponentially); however, it was the fact that I could honestly tell moms-to-be how crazy and misguided you can be about pregnancy and new motherhood, especially at a certain age. So here we go…
PREGNANCY:
1.
No one told me how bad other people would make me feel about being almost 39 years old and pregnant. At every doctor’s appointment and sonogram, I was told I was “high risk”; to be careful and take all of the necessary precautions…it was relentless. And it was enough to make me NOT ever want to go back to the doctor.
2.Genetic counseling: BOOOO!! I consider myself, my family and my son’s father and family, healthy; however, after taking about a thousand different blood tests I felt like I was being set up for disaster.
I took blood tests on a Monday and the following Monday I received a call from a nurse in genetic testing at the hospital. She said I would have to come back to the hospital and give more blood because either A.) My son could have a genetically inherited disease that can cause death by the age of 3, or B.) The nurse at the lab left my blood out for too long and it got tainted…so I went back and gave more blood.
Then about 3 days after that I received another call saying I may be passing on a gene that comes from the Ashkenazi Jewish side of my family that could cause my baby to become blind and/or have cancer, at an early age. So my son’s father needed to be tested too, just to make sure he wasn’t also passing down the gene. In the end, my son Oliver was born very healthy and didn’t have any genetically inherited diseases; totally unnecessary panic. Oy Vey.
3.The weight gain was crazy. I was at the gym 5 days a week and ate fairly healthy before I became pregnant but for some crazy reason (Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, etc. thanks a lot) I thought I would be able to lose the weight in approximately 4 months; that the weight would just melt away after my son arrived. Well, it’s been 13 months and I am still 10 lbs heavier than I was pre-baby…sniff…
4.I felt as if my thighs were going to burn off my body from the rubbing! Maybe this is because I did gain a lot of weight - or perhaps because I was pregnant in the summer - but I must have used a container of baby powder a day. I even had to wear maternity biking shorts just to stop the chaffing. It was a situation that never even crossed my mind before I got pregnant and never imagined could be so uncomfortable and almost unbearable.
AFTER BIRTH:
5.I am not sure if it was just my son, but around 7 months old he developed a very high pitch scream/squeal that I could never understand. He wasn’t in pain (I’m pretty sure) but when he got upset or frustrated he would do this and it pierced my ears. Thankfully, he got past that and has since moved on to just low pitch screams and squeals. This I can deal with.
6.I’m not married to my child’s father but still I was not prepared for the fact that I would have to be a mother to my son and his father. I thought he would be with me all the way and we’d walk the pregnancy/baby path together. I was wrong. Very wrong. It took him a long time to - how can I say, “come to terms” with the fact he was going to be a father to a child. I’ve had to be more mature, less emotional and understanding than ever before in my life. To say the least, it’s a challenge.
7.I never knew how involved (okay, RUDE) total strangers were going to be to me now that I have a baby. People I’ve never seen before in my life have no reservations telling me everything from I was smothering my son because he was in an infant carrier against my chest, to yelling at me, saying he was too young to be on public transportation, to deliberately not making eye contact with me when I am struggling to carry my 20lb baby and a baby stroller up 4 flights of stairs in the subway by myself. WOW.
8.Although I was, and still am, a very independent person I never realized how much I would still need support from others. This is an on-going learning experience and I believe I will be a better woman for it… I hope.
9.I never expected that teething could be so intense - for him and for me! Nothing works. NOTHING. And I’ve tried everything…
10.Other mothers told me, but I really didn’t expect, how intense my love would be for my son. I thank God every day to have been given the opportunity to create and raise a beautiful, intelligent and charming boy who loves me with all his heart. I am blessed.
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