The Younger Man Experiment
Recently divorced at 38,
I was ready... and willing to
do some heavy flirting with a
25-year-old guy at work, let's
call him Brian. One day,
after a particularly fun flirting
session, I suggested we get
a bite sometime. Now, being
almost 40 with nothing to lose,
I was really more curious than
anything else to find out if this
guy might really like me or if it
was just all workplace heat.
But he said "great" and we
made a plan for the following
Friday night. Ooh, wait a
minute.... Friday night? The
meaning of that hit me all of a
sudden. Maybe this would be
a "real" date after all.
We text the arrangements
back and forth. Then he throws a monkey wrench in
our plans: His friend's birthday
party is later that night and he
insists on going.I meanreally.
Don't birthdays happen every year? I think to myself, hmm..., he's already giving himself an out. Bad sign, but I forge ahead and decide to look as cute 'n sexy as possible, because that's the way I roll, date or no.
Dinner turns out to be fantastic fun; great conversation and laughter. I'm feeling good. When the bill comes, he pays. Good sign.. I mean, very mature. At the next spot we get even cozier, sipping martinis, and talking even more. Brian even pays without me knowing. Very sexy. I swear I'm not an overly materialistic person but in this day and age, it's a really tough to find a guy who is subtle and sweet. I thought, "This 25-year-old guy likes me!" When we began walking to the birthday party, I felt his hand touching my back at an intersection, then he switched sides so that I was on the inside of the sidewalk Very gentlemanly. Im loving life.
When we arrive at the party, it's packed with his friends and I immediately start losing steam. An influx of 20-something drunk guys was not what I had in mind. I tell Brian I'm gonna go. He walks me to a cab and we say our goodbyes. Not exactly how I wanted to end the night but it certainly wasn't a disaster.
In the cab home, I send my friend a text about the night. But with the way the night is going, of course, I don't send it to her, I send it to him! Uh-no. Luckily, I didn't say anything too bad. Either way though, awkward! I text him again right away tryting to explain myself. Thank goodness, over the next week at work things are back to normal, but we don't go out on a date again.
A few weeks later, my friends and I decide to throw an end of the summer party. I invite Brian who says he's planning to come but during the party he text me that he might not make it after all and asks if I'll hate him if he doesn't show up. I'm casual, although disappointed, and say "Of course, I'll hate you" with a wink and smily face icon at the end of my text.
Then this comes back: "Well are there any beautiful, young single women there?" Really dude? To ask if there are other women there is one thing. To specify 'young' is a slap in the face. Annoyed, I didn't respond and dropped him from my radar.
What I learned was, if a guy's into you, he'll show it - over and over again - not just on a first date and second, maybe 25 is too young for me after all and 38 too old for him. But maybe not.... because guess what? As soon as I wrote Brian off and stopped paying him any attention, he hasn't stopped calling me. Classic.
